In honor of Robert Burns, I relate this story, passed down to me by me auld mither:
It was during some battle or other, the name of which eludes me at the moment, that a British commander sent a battalion of his men over the top of McPhee's Hill to slaughter the Scots. He expected the battle to be brief, yet as he stood gazing in anticipation of his men's return, he was disappointed. Not a single man came back from the foray.
Again he sent out his soldiers, two full battalions this time. Dust from the foray lifted above the green slopes of McPhee's Hill, but once again, the commander waited vainly. Not a single survivor returned.
Thinking that by now the Scots must have been exhausted with fighting, but still uncertain of victory, the commander again sent out men: five battalions! His reputation was at stake, and the Queen's honor and such.
Sounds of battle filled the air. The sky darkened with the dust of war. The commander waited...and waited...and at long last, one lone soldier crawled back into camp, bleeding and battered and near death. With his last breath as he lay at his commander's feet, he voiced these words: "There...there are...TWO of them!"
"There are thousands of places to fish, and we, after all, are fishermen. Therefore, life is good." John Gierach in "Standing In A River Waving A Stick"
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
You have to laugh.
When I cancelled my dinosaurian dial-up service a month ago, I was just a couple of hours into the new billing cycle, so yesterday I got my final bill: $0.64. It took two sheets of paper to spell it all out, plus an envelope, plus the postage, just to bill me for $0.64. Strangely, this phenomenal sum was not automatically withdrawn from my bank account as my monthly bills had been, theoretically because it was not equal to the exact amount I had previously authorized.
So what's to do? Do I write them a check, stick it in an envelope, put a $0.44 cent stamp on it? No, I decided I'd call them in the hopes of either authorizing a draft from my bank account, or maybe...just maybe!...they'd write it off.
The gal on the other end had a good laugh and wrote it off without my suggesting it. We chuckled over the amount of paper and time involved, and then she said,
"You'll probably get another statement in February showing a zero balance."
OMG. What strange times these are!
When I cancelled my dinosaurian dial-up service a month ago, I was just a couple of hours into the new billing cycle, so yesterday I got my final bill: $0.64. It took two sheets of paper to spell it all out, plus an envelope, plus the postage, just to bill me for $0.64. Strangely, this phenomenal sum was not automatically withdrawn from my bank account as my monthly bills had been, theoretically because it was not equal to the exact amount I had previously authorized.
So what's to do? Do I write them a check, stick it in an envelope, put a $0.44 cent stamp on it? No, I decided I'd call them in the hopes of either authorizing a draft from my bank account, or maybe...just maybe!...they'd write it off.
The gal on the other end had a good laugh and wrote it off without my suggesting it. We chuckled over the amount of paper and time involved, and then she said,
"You'll probably get another statement in February showing a zero balance."
OMG. What strange times these are!
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